“but it only hurts me”

I remember telling my friend, when I started my step four in my recovery work, that some things weren’t important because they only hurt me. My friend called bullshit on that and she also said that I am of value and when I hurt myself I’ve still hurt someone. Often, the things that I thoughtContinue reading ““but it only hurts me””

resurrection and light

I didn’t know how to set altars for Easter, and I didn’t have the items I needed in order to put anything together, or so I thought. I set two altars that I love, and putting all the elements together is prayer. When I started putting things together, especially as I was making a wreathContinue reading “resurrection and light”

just call me judas

A few days ago, a friend and I were discussing that fact that although all of the rosary mysteries are meaningful and worthy of much meditation, the most profound for us are the Sorrowful Mysteries. I think perhaps that just happens when one’s relationship not just with God but with the world has been rockyContinue reading “just call me judas”

characters of holy week

As we go straight from hosanna in the highest, to crucify him in a very short amount of time, let’s consider some of the characters that played a part in the passion story. I identify with several of the key players in the narrative of the last days of the life of Jesus. These peopleContinue reading “characters of holy week”

jesus, stuff is fucked up and shit

I need to be somewhere that I can exist for free while my kids visit with their father. Everyone else has gone to lunch because they can, and I want to go too but it costs money not to be lonely. I was invited to lunch today. They don’t always invite me, but today theyContinue reading “jesus, stuff is fucked up and shit”

visual act of contrition

Today I spent a few hours trying something new. I was wanting to create with my hands an act of contrition that would be displayed on my altar. I’ve been thinking a lot of Judas recently as his actions coincide with something I am currently working through. A few weeks ago, I had picked upContinue reading “visual act of contrition”

the cleansing flood

A prayer to the Holy Spirit… Dear Holy SpiritWelling up inside my heartJust as anger, and grief, and happinessWell up inside meAnd they well up until a raging flood comes pouring outLike a raging volcano of angerLike a waterfall of tears in griefLike a laugh echoing throughout the valley in happinessIt wells up inside meAndContinue reading “the cleansing flood”

ash wednesday brought me face to face with jesus (eventually)

I’d never known was liturgy was, and I figured I sure as hell didn’t want it, until one day in my very early 30’s, I actually saw people with ash on their forehead and, instead of laughing and mocking like I did every other year, I started to wonder what it was, why it wasContinue reading “ash wednesday brought me face to face with jesus (eventually)”

living liturgically (season one, episode twelve, last sunday after the epiphany)

A friend of mine told me that epiphany is a season of revelation, and that seems to be true for me. There’s been a lot of revelation for me, so much that I’m not quite sure what to do with it, except give it to Jesus which I’m going to be honest and say isContinue reading “living liturgically (season one, episode twelve, last sunday after the epiphany)”