some of my conversations with the saints #1

St. John the Baptist:

“John the Baptist, I relate to you some, since you were crazy and offbeat and misunderstood and lonely just like me, but bro, you couldn’t have been known as John the something else? Baptist has way too many connotations for me.”

St. Peter the Apostle:

“Peter, I so get you. I understand your journey, I really fucking get it. You, like me, are the obnoxious loudmouth. Passionate about Jesus but showing it in all the wrong ways and fucking it up to where you feel like it can’t be fixed. But Jesus seeks you out and you follow him again after denying him. I love your example because it shows me that I can do this Jesus thing too.”

St. Paul the Apostle:

“Paul, you know I hated you for the longest time, right? You know, I was wrong, you added a lot to the church. My conversion story is kind of crazy like yours, and I guess it takes a little extra for Jesus to get the attention of some of us. So I need your help, okay? You do forgive me, don’t you?”

St. Simon of Cyrene:

“Simon of Cyrene, did you even want to carry that cross or did you draw the short straw or did they just demand you do it? Did you just accidentally find your way into the Passion of Christ, and it wasn’t until later you figured out what the fuck had happened? I would totally get that, it’s how it would go down for me.”

St. Raphael the Archangel:

“Yo, Raphael, they tell me you’re the one that exterminates vices, so what do you say, can you help an addict out here?”

St. Stephen:

“So, Stephen, I have to ask if you still want to be my friend after the shit I used to say about it being crazy to allow yourself to die for the faith by public refusal to recant. I mean, I thought you’d be better off recanding publically and then privately practicing the faith. I didn’t understand until recently that it was part of the point, that’s how you entered into the story of Christ and his suffering in a specific and meaningful way, and that it was important for you to do. Despite the fact that it also would have been a lie for you to recant and that’s something I had said back when I was lying about everything. I can’t claim to be the most honest person now, but I’m working on walking in truth, you know, and so, mate, can we talk some more?”

St. Patrick:

“Patrick, I’ve got nothing to say that can make certain things I’ve done okay, but I’m grateful for that prayer of yours with the stupid name. You’ve got to admit that was a dumb name, mate. I get where you were going with the name but still. The prayer has been a comfort to me and I need your help to keep walking with Jesus and remembering my renunciations of evil and my commitments to Jesus.”

Published by MaryClare StFrancis

MaryClare StFrancis is a writer who sounds as boring as hell but who is intimately acquainted with the horrific and the sacred. For a long time, darkness has been her friend, but she now walks in the light of Christ. As a committed Episcopalian, her main contribution to the church is her ability to make the priests facepalm or swear, depending on the day and context. MaryClare has a Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing and lives in Mississippi with her four children.

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