I began praying the prayer of St. Francis a while ago, even though I didn’t really want to, because the way this works is that the more often I intentionally pray something, the more I just come to believe it and desire it. That’s why I talk about prayer as being spiritual formation, because it has been for me. But before I could start praying the St. Francis prayer, I needed to apply it to myself and so I re-wrote it for me. God told me that one day I would pray this prayer as it’s written and be able to live it, but that first, I had to live it for myself. I re-wrote it to reflect my modern life, and the things that I need to do for myself, so here it is:
Lord, help me to be at peace with myself.
Wherever I hate myself or others, let me learn to love.
Where I am hurt, let me focus on my healing.
Where I have doubts, let me learn to trust you.
Where I am cynical, let me learn to be more open-minded.
When I despair, let me have hope and the correct medication.
Where I have the kind of darkness that wounds my soul, let me look to the Light of the World.
When I am sad, let me learn joy, even though I have no idea what the fuck that even is.
God, help me learn to accept your comfort for myself,
When I desire to be heard, help me to hear myself and not deny what happened to me.
Help me to love myself so that I will be capable of loving others.
Let me give myself what I need so that I can be the best person I can be.
Help me to forgive myself as you have forgiven me.
Let me live so well that when I die I may do so at peace with myself.