hell

my spirit leaves my body,
and I cry out
“Jesus, come with”
as my world starts spinning

this demon
is taking me on a trip
but I invited Jesus along,
which pissed the thing off,
but I’m always fine
with pissing off demons

the demon is leading
I’m close behind
traveling to a place
I never asked to go

I hope Jesus
will tell the demon
to go to hell

The joke is on me
It takes forever
to get where we are going
And then I see

we are here
at the top of hell
looking down

the demon did go to hell
It wants
to give me a tour

but Jesus says “no
this is all
I want her to see
this is enough”

I glimpse this place
and with much surprise
I realize

there is no fire
or brimstone
or weeping
or wailing
or gnashing of teeth

everything I was bought up to believe
was in hell

this hell
in comparison
is much scarier
than anything
I was ever taught

it’s shock to behold
and I shiver
glad that Jesus
is holding my hand

this is the most terrifying thing
I have ever seen in my life
and I have been places

scary
unholy places
and still nothing compares

hell is gray
hell is desolate
hell is a void
hell is a pit

No scenery
like mountains
or lakes
or beaches

no cityscapes
or asphalt
although it is the
color of concrete

this is no place
that I want to be

there is nothing here
except for demons
and other evil spirits
who rebelled
against God

I feel thankful
as I too
rebelled against God
and yet here I am
viewing hell
from above
and I will never
have to descend
to this place

this vile
unholy
miserable
place

the scariest thing
about hell
is that Jesus
isn’t here
although he’s beside me
for this trip

hell is devoid
of the presence
of God

the atmosphere
is moist
and stifling
and heavy

there is a gray mist
on an equally gray background
of a gray pit
gray
gray
gray

the mist
is the heaviest thing
I have ever felt
the mist
is the abject desolation
and loneliness
of this place

no friends
no family
no Jesus
no thanks

as my senses
behold
this awful place
I turn

to Jesus

“I’ve always
searched
for you
but I’ve never
chosen you
but now
I choose you
now
and forever”

as my senses
behold Jesus
in his humanity
and glory
I turn

to the demon

“hell will never
be my abode
but one day
it will be yours
and this place
is unholy
and you know
I’ve seen
and done
much
that is unholy

you’ve been
making promises
offering me
many things
Just like
Satan did
to Jesus
in the wilderness

and sometimes
those promises
were sparkly
and gaudy
like a bauble
but you
are a liar
from the very beginning

and today
I choose Jesus
forever
and always”

“she has seen enough”
says Jesus
to the demon
“and do believe
she has chosen”

the demon
dare not
disobey Jesus

and so begins
the journey back
to where my body
is laying
in a recliner
by the window
with the sun
shining in

waiting
for my spirit
to return

my spirit
returns
to the body

Jesus
with eyes
filled with compassion
looks at me
and leaves

the demon
however
is still here

but it lost
a lot of
its power

I see it
for the liar
that it is

the demon
seeks
the ruin
of souls

and it almost
ruined mine
but I
choose Jesus

I stand up
and I walk
to my prayer altar
and I lay
with my face
on the ground

totally in awe
and I begin:

Lord Jesus Christ
Son of God
have mercy on me


Published by Mary-Clare St. Francis

Mary-Clare St. Francis is a writer who sounds as boring as hell but who is intimately acquainted with the horrific and the sacred. For a long time, darkness has been her friend, but she now walks in the light of Christ. As a committed Episcopalian, her main contribution to the church is her ability to make the priests facepalm or swear, depending on the day and context. Mary-Clare has a Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing and lives in Mississippi with her four children.

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