i see you

I see you,
in your misery
with a whole bunch of feelings
that are too big to handle
I can help with that,
I promise.

You know what?
You can numb them.
I know that hasn’t
worked very well in the past,
but I can promise you,
that it will be different this time.

I see you,
I understand you,
better than anyone.
You’re exhausted,
all you need,
is the thing I have for you.

It will make you
able to function
like a normal human being,
with just a little bit of a buzz.
And you will know when to stop,
because I will tell you.

I see you,
now you’re upset
with yourself
for listening to my voice,
because a different vice,
is still addiction.

You assume
that you’re trash now,
and I suppose you are.
Those you love will turn on you,
you’ve done this
too many times before.

I see you,
and you know, deep down,
that you’ve disappointed everyone.
You ate up my lies.
I’m very persuasive,
and I am addiction.

I will keep
coming for you.
I will show up when you don’t expect me,
when you think you’re doing okay,
which is really quite arrogant,
and I’ll get you again.

I see you,
I am a liar,
but my story is good,
and you believe it every time.
Sweet, pretty lies,
is all it takes to get to you.

I want to destroy you,
but I’ll be here for you,
when you’re overwhelmed,
and numb, and upset,
and need to escape.
I am addiction.

I see you,
and I’m out to get you.
My happiness shall be your destruction.
I am addiction.
I am a liar.
I will call for you again.

You know as well as I do,
that my solution is shit,
but I can deceive you,
and you return to me,
like I’m your first love,
and you’re in my grip again.

I see you,
you need to learn,
to see me, and to realize,
that I am addiction.
And that addiction,
is a fucking, lying, bitch.

Published by MaryClare StFrancis

MaryClare StFrancis is a writer who sounds as boring as hell but who is intimately acquainted with the horrific and the sacred. For a long time, darkness has been her friend, but she now walks in the light of Christ. As a committed Episcopalian, her main contribution to the church is her ability to make the priests facepalm or swear, depending on the day and context. MaryClare has a Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing and lives in Mississippi with her four children.

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